Lily Kasai: kinky playmate, quirky deviant

I sat down with the visionary Lily Kasai to discuss her inspirations for this exquisite set of photos she commissioned me to create for her marketing. Lily is an absolute inspiration to me. To catch more of her divine vibes you can check out her website and twitter.

Leo Brooklyn: Where are you from and what brought you to NY?

Lily Kasai: I grew up in Honolulu and moved to South Carolina in my teens. Sex work brought me to New York. In my 20’s I started off as a client. I would hire these really cool girls when I lived in South Carolina and I thought maybe I could transition into sex work - I may have over-glamourized hearing about their lives. I thought I’m just going to quit everything and do this.

Leo Brooklyn: Where would you find these sex workers?

Lily Kasai: I had followed Insuh Yoon on tumblr in my teens and I came across his work again in my 20’s. He would photograph a lot of these incredible women and I realized they were sex workers and I didn’t even know you could hire someone to have sex with you. At the time I was going on dates with women from tinder and it was not going well. I wanted to explore my sexuality without dating people. I didn’t want to lead people on. When I found out you can hire someone to have a good time - I thought I would rather just do that.

Leo Brooklyn: Did you have any long term arrangements with these girls?

Lily Kasai: There was one that I did keep in touch with and when I wanted to be a sex worker I asked for her opinion and she referred one of her friends to help me with marketing. The first place I started marketing was instagram and twitter.

Leo Brooklyn: I would love to hear your thought process on the shoot we did together. I’m inspired by your imaginative vision for these photos that you commissioned me to create for your marketing.

Lily Kasai: I get visual ideas when I listen to music and I get inspiration from a lot of films I watch.

Leo Brooklyn: Tell me about the first look- the hot cowgirl domme look.

Lily Kasai: So I love crocodiles, hence the crocodile tattoo on my hand.  I found these awesome green crocodile boots and I wanted to create a look that showcased the boots. I love the cowboy narrative. Cowboys are lonely and they keep to themselves and do hard work to get things done. So I wanted to combine a cowboy look with these crocodile boots.

Leo Brooklyn: So you’re like the seductress lonely cowgirl feeling yourself and being a hottie and for the next scene we have your american psycho look.

Lily Kasai: Yeah that was inspired by American Psycho and the anime Chainsaw man who has an orange chainsaw as an arm. I wanted to create a vibe that communicated - I am going to destroy you- but in a campy way. I wanted to be sexy but not in a way that’s for the male gaze.

Leo Brooklyn: Tell me about the celebratory cake scene.

Lily Kasai: I’d had the dress for a while - it was advertised as a wedding dress. For the first shoot I did with it I had a crystal veil mask and I was surrounded by decapitated pig heads. I liked that shoot a lot but it didn’t get a lot of positive feedback because the pig heads distracted from the dress. So I wanted to show the beauty of the dress more clearly. Also as someone who grew up Mormon it kind of fits into the aesthetic - wearing all white and silk.

I chose the white latex hood to go with the dress- this might sound weird but my love for kewpie dolls inspired this combo.  When you suggested I shoot nude with just the hood and the boots I loved that because it was even more Kewpie-doll-esque. I found the cake by Yip Studio on instagram and it looks surreal and playful like a carnival or like something in a Dr. Seuss book.

Leo Brooklyn: How does sex work provide an outlet for your creativity?

Lily Kasai: I like thinking about social experiments and social dynamics, how people communicate and express themselves. For me as a sex worker I like watching people up close. I can create interactions that people would never have outside of sex work. I get to ask more personal questions and have more intimate conversations. I’m not very good at small talk. I like big talk. I like that my job gives me access to asking people deeper questions. I like to hear about people’s ethics, their philosophies, what makes them feel good. I see it like this - I have a little radio and everyone is their own radio station and my job as a sex worker and an autistic person is to constantly play with my dial to figure out the best way to reach this person’s radio station.

Leo Brooklyn: What are some of the bigger questions you enjoy discussing with clients?

Lily Kasai: I recently saw someone who was in their 80’s. This person briefly mentioned their life coming to an end. I said to them- I hope this isn’t too personal but how do you feel about dying? We ended up talking about death for 3 hours. This person doesn’t really have anyone outside of therapy to talk about what it means to have closure on your life and to bid farewell. I could tell it was very meaningful for them. I really appreciate having these conversations.

My go-to question for most people I don’t know is ‘What have you been thinking about lately?’ or ‘What have you been chewing on?’ I like to hear about their frameworks, their models, how they think about the world. We can all have the same experiences but completely different understandings of reality. There is no one way to look at life.

Leo Brooklyn: How would you describe some of your favorite clients? What do you like about them?

Lily Kasai: I tend to get along with people who are flexible in their perspectives and who have enough awareness of the world to back up what they’re talking about but also are open to having their minds changed. I enjoy people who are interested in nuances and complexities rather than being so eager to label something and then forget about it.

Leo Brooklyn: Do you have any industry role models?

Lily Kasai: Not really anymore- I feel inspired by my colleague friends- like Kiss Me Deadly Doll. The way I see her do her magic is amazing.  She is insanely creative not only with her technical rope skills but also how she interacts with people whether it’s body language, verbal communication or touch.  She inspired me to wonder how you evoke emotions by touching someone or saying something in a way I’ve never thought of before.

Leo Brooklyn: What’s one of your favorite things about yourself?

Lily Kasai: I used to feel really embarrassed about this before but I’m really appreciative about it now. When I say I don’t have a strong sense of identity I’m not equating it with my ethics or how to be respectful but more like I don’t try to name myself where it limits me. I advertise as a dominatrix but I’m not attached to that role. If someone wants to see me and they’re not a sub, that’s fine. I’m more open to adjusting my position to have a good time with someone.  When I first started domming and doing full service I was getting some feedback about how real dommes don’t do full service and I thought well I don’t really care about being a real domme. If being a real domme means adhering to these rules then I don’t want to be one because I want to do what I want to do.

Follow Lily on twitter at @lilykasai and check out her beautiful website to see more photos and hear more about her story: www.lilykasai.com