Erin O’hara: ginger dream girl porn star

Erin O’Hara (Oh_Erna on Instagram) quit her full-time job in fashion to launch her OnlyFans empire. I met Erin during a content-creation day for sex workers hosted at her gorgeous Brooklyn loft. I was so impressed with her beautiful space and her beautiful spirit and was surprised to find out that she is also in her late 30s like me. I photographed Erin in my Bushwick studio and then sat down with her to chat about directing her own porn, her upcoming lingerie line, balancing a relationship, and how she has created a life that she lives on her own terms.

Check out all of her links here.

Leo: I would love to hear about your life up until now. Where did you grow up? What brought you to New York?

Erin: I grew up in Ohio, and I went to art college there and worked for a few years in fashion, and then I moved to Detroit and I worked there for seven years. I lived in Italy off and on for a year, and then I ended up here in New York. 

Leo: What did you do in Detroit?

Erin: I was a designer for Carhartt doing men's pants mostly. My personal wardrobe now is mainly men's pants and like tiny tops or lingerie.

Leo: And what took you to Italy?

Erin: I was working for a designer there as well. It was a very high-end label, and I wasn't actually allowed to design the clothing, but I was doing graphic design. I would put these books together for them. And I didn’t have a work visa. I would go for 3 months, come back, and then go again for 2 months–one of those situations. It wasn’t a glamorous experience. It was miserable–no young people, very socially isolating.

Leo: I love that we are both in this erotic space and a similar age in our late 30’s. How did you begin?

Erin: I’ve always been a hyper-sensual person. And then I started modeling a little bit in art school because people kept asking to take my photos. More erotic stuff didn't start til when I lived in Detroit, after I got divorced. I was just trying to figure out who I was or something. The erotic stuff really started for me on instagram. My first account, which was many accounts ago, blew up really fast, and it freaked me out. So I deleted it. But I started it again. That was the first time I started interacting with fans in more transactional ways. I got an OnlyFans in 2017 or 2018, so I’ve been on there for a long time.

Leo: As someone who started OnlyFans recently, I’ve been trying to get the hang of it. I’m curious–how do you keep boundaries with fans when your content is available to absolutely anyone in the world who pays for it?

Erin: I think over the years I've been extremely lucky to have pretty nerdy and emotionally intelligent fans, and I mean nerdy in a positive way. I have smart, kind fans. I do have some people who will send inappropriate or unwanted messages, but it's really easy to just block people. For the most part, my interactions on OF are really innocent. People want to talk about their day or their problems. Sometimes it’s sexy, but people really appreciate just having someone to talk to or listen to them talk about everyday stuff.

Leo: Do you have fans who get attached to you and expect to be able to meet you in real life?

Erin: Yes.

Leo: How do you deal with that? 

Erin: Well, a lot of my fans came from shooting with a prominent photographer who actually passed away but used to work here in Brooklyn. I had worked with him a lot, and I got a ton of fans from his people, and a lot of them were local. So a large quantity of my fans were around here. So I did have to deal with people asking me out a lot, but I would just say I don’t date fans for privacy and safety issues. But one time I broke my own rule, and that person is my partner.

Leo: Who was the photographer?

Erin: His name was Insuh Yoon. And he was pretty controversial and honestly problematic. He always treated me respectfully, but he didn't always treat other models that way. We had many talks about that. He ended up committing suicide, and of course it’s a very long story but even with him being a problematic person, we still created art together, and we still had a lot of conversations about those controversial topics, and we did build build something together. A huge part of my New York-based success came from working with him.

Leo: Have you had any issues in your personal life with having a public erotic persona? 

Erin: I used to get recognized out and about more pre-pandemic, but people were very respectful. It’s mostly been positive, but this year I had a stalking/doxxing situation. I don’t know who this person is, but being really visible all of these years I’ve been waiting for something like this to happen. You have a lot of vulnerability, and someone is going to take advantage of it, and this person did. It was a rough couple of months, but fuck them. Nothing bad happened. I’m still here.

Leo: I’m always interested in the psychology of internet fame or popularity because it takes a certain kind of energy to deal with it.

Erin: In my daily life it’s not a thing though. I’m good at styling myself and presenting in photos and videos, but when I walk down the street nobody’s going “Who’s she?!” I’m not turning any heads. But it is a mindfuck because I lost my current Instagram account, and then I got it back. But that year that it was gone–you go from being somebody because of a number next to your name to being nobody then to being somebody again, and it is very interesting how people treat you differently.

Leo: I think it’s so hot that you do porn. When did you release your first scene? 

Erin: Over many years, I've made personal stuff with partners, you know, but in terms of making porn for public consumption, that started at the beginning of the pandemic. I realized a lot of people joined OnlyFans or started one at that time. I had already had one for years, but it was just nudes and thirst traps I couldn't post on Instagram. I sold my first video at the beginning of the pandemic, and that first video was wildly successful.

I've had a pretty conflicted relationship with that over the years too, because at the beginning when I started doing this I loved seeing videos of myself because I really am an exhibitionist. But over the years of making videos it just hits different. I don’t even do it a lot though–besides posting daily content I sell one to two sex videos per month on OnlyFans.

For a long time, I was doing all the camera work myself–the editing, sound, everything. And I know that people love an iPhone video, but I love an aesthetic. I want it to be pretty and nice. I’ve started working with a female videographer, and it’s worth it for my mental sanity. I can be in the moment and be sexy without having to think about the camera being in focus or changing angles.

Leo: What’s her name?

Erin: Her name is Paula Romeo Garcia. She’s worked with some of our other peers recently too. She’s really talented.

Leo: Can you tell me about a recent scene you liked filming?

Erin: I had a filming session set up with a friend who I’ve worked with before. By the way, I’ve realized that with studio porn you can make more money, but I really like the creative control of making my own content and the people I film with are friends and people who I know and like and trust. But I was feeling uninspired, and he was coming over, and I was trying to think of something we could do that was different. I’ve done everything. I looked at my dining room table, and I had a bunch of LED candles that I had bought for a shoot a while ago, and I thought what about a candlelit dinner table fuck scene? I don’t plan things too much, but I like a general idea. I’m mostly inspired by light. 

Another video I loved was a threesome where I insisted we bring the mattress out here into my living room where there’s lots of light and shoot it during golden hour. 

The candlelit dinner thing was kind of nice and it went out for Valentine’s Day. He ate me out on the table, we fucked on the table, whatever. I just like to use what I have around this apartment to make it special.

Leo: Does your family know about your work?

Erin: For the most part, no. One sister that I'm the closest with does know. But pretty much everyone else in my family doesn't even know about my modeling. Weirdly, nobody's on social media. Maybe it’s just an Ohio farmland thing. But I have a nephew who is going to be a teenager soon, and it’s starting to occur to me that it might happen. I’ll have to cross that bridge at some point. I don’t feel ashamed, but there's something kind of fun about having a double life as well.

Leo: One thing that fascinates me about sex workers is our ability to exist outside of what society deems respectable, and then in many cases to exist outside of what our families deem respectable. So I appreciate people who are living in that realm. 

Erin: It’s a bit of a mindfuck too that the more you’re surrounded by sex work, the more normal it is. I don’t remember what it’s like to be a normal person or a civilian. It’s hard for me to emotionally relate. This comes up in relationships. People can say all day long that they’re okay with what I do, but if they haven’t been surrounded by it or practiced it as much, then they experience emotions and feelings that I feel numb to. I don’t experience jealousy much anymore. It’s hard for me to relate to civilian emotions around this type of work.

With my doxxing situation earlier this year I did talk to my mom about that, but not everything. I talked about that in therapy a lot. Like, what would it be like for her to know everything? 

Leo: You had mentioned your upcoming project designing lingerie. I would love to hear more about that.

Erin: It’s been a long time in the works, and it’s coming very soon. It’s a small collection, but I worked as a fashion designer for years. I modeled for this person’s brand and we realized we had mutual friends so we started talking about doing design work together. This month it’s finally happening. We shot the editorial campaign last month, and it was one of those wild moments where it turned out exactly as I had imagined it. I researched lighting, photographers, makeup and styling and put together concept boards, so I basically art directed this shoot and I modeled in it along with another girl. The pieces are beautiful and the designer does a good job with fits for all sizes. She doesn’t just take one design and scale it up or down. She makes sure that it fits big boobs. I’m really excited about the collection.I have lots of ideas, and I hope we can continue to work together.

Leo: I’ve always been inspired by people who create their own world and live on their own terms. It takes a lot of vision and discipline. What daily practices keep you structured, motivated, and organized?

Erin: I really thrived when I worked in fashion offices. It was chaotic and fast-paced, but somebody else was creating the structure in the organization. I'm not self disciplined, and I've had to work really hard and struggle through. I’m still trying to figure out how to create balance. Hiring a videographer and a company to run my OnlyFans has been helpful. I’m talking to people about running a Reddit for me. Before this year I was doing it all myself, and I’m not very organized. I also just got diagnosed with ADHD and that has been a game changer.

But I really feel what you said about creating your own world. When I was working full-time in a fashion office and I kept meeting people in New York who were going to India for a month or they were painting or doing creative projects nonstop, I would think, “Who are these people who don’t have day jobs?” I felt bitter about it. I thought, when do I get to have this wild, free artist’s schedule? So I buckled down and made some decisions to create that for myself. I took some risks. I quit a pretty well-paying full-time job to start this not knowing if it would work. Instead of just looking at other people and being jealous, I thought I can make that for myself, and then I did and here we are.

Leo: And how long has it been that you’ve been doing your own thing full-time?

Erin: Since 2019. Ironically it was six months before the pandemic that I let my full-time job go. I’m proud of this power move I made. I gave them two pieces of paper. One was a resignation letter and the other was a part-time freelance proposal. At the time I was 32, modeling was picking up and I wasn’t getting younger, so I wanted to pursue that. In the particular fashion world I was a part of they don’t do part-time freelance. You’re either there 80 hours a week or you’re not involved. So they were offended by my proposal, but they realized they needed me, so they agreed to it. So I did part-time with them for all of 2020 and then quit entirely to do my own thing with OnlyFans.

Leo: I would love to hear about your partner because I love hearing about sex workers who manage committed relationships.

Erin: I had met him through OnlyFans. He asked me out for ice cream on OF and I said no, I don’t hang out with fans in real life. And OnlyFans’ usernames are often anonymous, so I didn’t realize the same person was asking me out on instagram. At the time I really wanted a partner. I had been single for five years and had a lot of bad experiences. And I just wanted to heal. So we ended up hanging out and then I put it together that he has asked me out on OnlyFans as well. It’s tough though because I’m non-monogamous and date other genders as well.

It’s also hard because I’m so busy and my romantic and sexual capacities just get burnt out. Relationships have been hard the last couple of years.

If you’re familiar with the attachment spectrum, I’ve been told I’m more on the avoidant-dismissive side. I keep finding myself in situations where people say they’re okay with me being non-monogamous and making porn, but saying it and actually believing it are different things. So it takes a lot of talking and communication and it’s tough. 

I’ve also noticed a lot of our peers are not straight. But a lot of them who are femmes do end up with a male primary partner. And I think that goes back to societal history. So many of our systems in society are set up to favor men. Men still make more money than women and still have privileges and opportunities that make it easier for us to have a male partner. I date women as well, and I’ve had female primary partners, but I’ve mostly had male primary partners, and I don’t feel bad about it because I’m exhausted. If I can share this workload and put some of it off on someone who’s enjoyed the privileges of moving through our society as a man, then it’s their turn to fucking shoulder some of that for me.

That’s just a theory I have that I’m working on.

Leo: You had mentioned you live with your partner, and I know you film scenes there. Is he there during filming?

Erin: My scenes are planned, so I let him know in advance, and I usually film when he’s at work. If not, he just goes to his art studio in the next building. He’s a painter. I think it would be hot if he stayed to watch, but I don’t think he’s mentally ready for that. Also sometimes if I have a date with someone, he’ll spend the night in his studio so that I can have space. Or if I have a full-service date and just want to sleep alone, he gives me that space. We plan our alone time and nights off from each other for work purposes or just mental health.

Leo: I feel the same as you. I would love to have my partner watch me fuck other people. Does your partner see other people?

Erin: He has the option, and he very occasionally does, but not as much as I do. But this is his first relationship that has been non-monogamous. So it’s been two years now, but when you’ve spent your whole life thinking one way, it feels strange to totally change.

Leo: I love hearing about your journey.

Erin: I always say I'm on my third or fourth life at this point, because I've had a lot of different storylines. I've intentionally started over three or four times. And, yeah, it's kind of wild. This current one is pretty fun. I enjoy talking about it.

Leo: You're like a kindred spiritI relate with a lot of what you say. And as I'm interviewing the women I photograph, I notice we’re all exhibitionists or have really high sex drives, and it leads us to sex work. It’s like oh, I’m naturally good at this.

Erin: Yeah, it’s so nice to have the community. It feels less lonely. It’s a great time to make money with it because I feel like we’re reverting back to puritanical times. Right now I feel like OnlyFans will not be around forever. So make that money now.